Visually Dynamic Dinosaurs Emotionally Prehistoric
I have this sneaky suspicion my six-year-old self probably would have loved Walking with Dinosaurs. Unfortunately, that version of me wasn’t the one who sat through it, my three-decades-older persona the one who had the privilege of doing that. Truth? As visually impressive as much of this is, as well realized as directors Barry Cook (Arthur Christmas) and Neil Nightingale (Enchanted Kingdom) manage to make things, the reality is that this is pretty childish stuff, suffering through it all the way until the end rather difficult to do.
PHOTO: 20th Century Fox
I’ve never watched the popular BBC-produced television series that this is derived from, but I have it on good authority the similarities between it and this motion picture are precious few. All the same, while I appreciated the attempts to educate, to walk a weird line between nature documentary and kid-friendly narrative entertainment, the actual story that veteran screenwriter John Collee (Creation) has crafted is derivatively forgettable, speaking in such condescending whiny tones it ends up being moderately insufferable.
Leaving the present day bookends alone (the less said about them the better; thankfully they’re brief), the main story revolves around a pair of Pachyrhinosaurus (from the Greek for “thick-nosed lizard”) dinosaurs, brothers Patchi (voiced by Justin Long) and Scowler (Skyler Stone), who grow from pint-sized kids into courageous adults as their pack tracks seasonally back and forth across what is today the Alaskan tundra. They are aided by a prehistoric bird named Alex (John Leguizamo), fight for the love of fellow Pachyrhinosaurus Juniper (Tiya Sircar) and continually fend off the carnivorous advances of a hungry Gorgosauraus. It’s a familiar tale, everything following in most respects a pre-prescribed narrative that is as tiring and trite as it is obvious and cliché.
The dialogue is horrendous. The situations are insufferable. As far as the evolutionary journey of the heroes is concerned, it’s all as plodding as the seasonal journey the Pachyrhinosaurus take twice a year. There is no wit, no flair or nuance to be found in the basic elements of the plotting, the movie not so much talking down to its audience as it is obsessed with never wanting to appear as if it is challenging them on any level whatsoever.
PHOTO: 20th Century Fox
The film admittedly looks incredible, the technical facets utilized to bring the central 66-million-year-old protagonists to life stunning. The melding of CGI dinosaurs and actual real world photography is magnificent, and in all honesty I can’t say I’ve ever seen these creatures brought to life so magnificently, in that regard besting even Steven Spielberg’s 1993 classic Jurassic Park. As stated, my younger self fascinated by dinosaurs would have found all of this spellbinding, and considering the majority of the pint-sized audience I saw it with were glued to the screen making nary a peep my guess is that today’s kids will also be spellbound by what it is they are seeing.
Not that this makes Walking with Dinosaurs a good movie, it just makes it passable for kids, and while that inherently isn’t a bad thing the fact adults are going to find sitting through it a chore certainly is. The film is an uneasy combination of scientific exploration, documentary and fictional adventure, and as visually marvelous as much of this is the emotional content is so prehistoric it might as well be extinct.
Film Rating: 2 (out of 4)
