Latest Hercules Hardly Legendary
King Amphitryon (Scott Adkins) is a tyrant ruling with an iron fist. His wife, the beautiful Queen Alcmene (Roxanne McKee), vaguely remembers a time when her husband’s soul was pure, a time before power and victory went to his head, those days sadly forgotten. She prays to the Goddess Hera for guidance, her trusted and wise teacher Chiron (Rade Serbedzija) by her side feeling every ounce of her pain as she does so. From this selfless plea for help a baby is conceived, not due to the efforts of King Amphitryon but instead courtesy of the all-powerful ruler of Olympus, Zeus coming down to the mortal realm to lie with the Queen for a single night.
PHOTO: Lionsgate
Two decades later that child, given the name Alcides by the King, known as Hercules (Kellan Lutz) to the God who sired him, comes into his own as a man. He discovers the person he thought was his father is really a despot and the mother who bore him a tragic figure who sacrificed all to see her son thrive. Additionally, the man he calls brother, Iphicles (Liam Garrigan), is a selfish and spineless neophyte who cares little to nothing for anyone other than himself. All of this leads Hercules to go on a journey of self-discovery that will transform into what into the one thing his mother nor the Gods themselves ever could have anticipated and that’s a hero.
That’s a lot of bluster and bloviating in regards to a movie that requires little of either, director Renny Harlin‘s The Legend of Hercules featuring a ton of movement and a heck of a lot of action. But all of it signifies extremely little, and even though the movie itself would love to prove otherwise nothing of substance or importance ever seems to happen at any point during the narrative.
The director of Die Hard 2 and Cliffhanger, someone who had so recently seemed to be getting back into form with the found-footage thriller Devil’s Pass, Harlin seems to be going through the motions. His chosen style for this project appears to be aping everything from television’s “Spartacus,” to Ray Harryhausen classics like Jason and the Argonauts, to recent sword and sandal epics like Gladiator and 300, in order to shepherd his mythological adventure to its foregone conclusion. If that weren’t bad enough, the script, credited to four writers (including Harlin) is wet behind the ears.
The core emotion components of this story drown in a soapy melodramatic treacle revolving around Hercules’ love for the beautiful Princess Hebe (Gaia Weiss) and his rise as a leader of the downtrodden and dispossessed people of Greece. But at just over 90 minutes there’s never enough time to explore any of the characters in any sort of detail. Time passes in such haphazard fashion that the various pieces connect in some sterile, preordained cookie-cutter manner that’s frankly boring. There is no sense of whimsy; no spirit of adventure. Worse, there’s nothing even close to being fun, and if Harlin and company were trying to craft a modern day spin on this old mythological chestnut all they’ve really accomplished is to manufacture a cinematic claptrap that makes the 2010 misbegotten Clash of the Titans remake look like one of the 100 greatest motion pictures of all-time.
Look, I’ve always sort of liked Harlin. I dig Die Hard 2. I think the opening scene of Cliffhanger is magnificent (the rest of the film not so much). Deep Blue Sea isn’t so much a guilty pleasure as it is a hugely entertaining fright flick masquerading as a monster movie crossed with a disaster epic. As for The Long Kiss Goodnight, I’m head over heels for that one, the film a late ’90s hyperbolic action spectacular that’s a borderline classic.
PHOTO: Lionsgate
But he’s had a long run of failures, of that there is no doubt, and while Devil’s Pass had its positives, it wasn’t like that low budget minimalistic affair was going to suddenly put him back on the A-list. Yet even with the worst of his recent works (The Covenant, Driven and Mindhunters are all pretty bad) there was still a level of competence to the filmmaking that speaks to Harlin’s confidence behind the camera. Here, though, things just feel off, and while there are some solid moments of explosive action they’re so few and far between their appearance is more an annoying reminder of what might have been instead of a positive worth crowing about.
There’s little more to add, especially as it pertains to Twilight heartthrob Lutz or newcomer Weiss, neither of whom are likely to put this title high on their respective resumes. Both look great, physically fitting their respective characters just fine. But other than that the less we speak about them or the other members of the cast the better, which I’m sure says it all as far as the performances are concerned. As for The Legend of Hercules itself, there’s a reason Summit picked it up for next to nothing to distribute only to unceremoniously drop it into January with little fanfare. The movie isn’t good, and it doesn’t take a lightning bolt flung from the hand of Zeus for even the most clueless viewer to recognize that fact and treat it as the gospel truth.
– Review reprinted courtesy of the SGN in Seattle
Film Rating: 1 (out of 4)
