Glossy Frankenstein an Uninspired Underworld Clone
Nicknamed Adam (Aaron Eckhart) by the immortal gargoyle Leonore (Miranda Otto) and tasked by Heaven’s angels to protect the human world from Hell’s demonic hordes, Frankenstein’s Monster has walked the Earth for over 200 years. Tired of being hunted, he decides to take the fight to those stalking him, hoping to find the mysterious demon Naberius (Bill Nighy) and discover once and for all why he’s so oddly important to him.
PHOTO: Lionsgate
That’s the nuts and bolts of I, Frankenstein, and while more is going on, it’s safe to say the basic plot mechanics don’t go a heck of lot deeper than that. The movie basically rehashes the Underworld playbook letter for letter, gargoyles substituting for werewolves while demons take the place of the vampire hordes. The difference? The change comes with the addition of Mary Shelley‘s creation in the middle of this mess, the supposedly soulless monster having to decide if he cares about humanity’s survival or if instead he’d be fine seeing them wiped off the face of the planet, letting hellfire and damnation be the new rules everyone who remains lives by.
The Underworld connection isn’t a surprise. The film, written and directed by Stuart Beattie (30 Days of Night, Collateral), is based on the graphic novel by Kevin Grevioux (who appears here as one of Naberius’ enforcers), one of the main cogs that helped create that four-film franchise alongside Len Wiseman. His concept and story follow that series’ core plot dynamics pretty much down the line, the author sticking with the old adage about not fixing unbroken things, even if not making the attempt doesn’t do this latest enterprise very many favors.
Not that I, Frankenstein is terrible. It isn’t. The film is well cast and has a glossy, sometimes giddy, B-movie sheen that’s somewhat intoxicating. Beattie, initially at least, makes the attempt to give the characters center stage so they can develop, if not believably, just close enough that the gothic comic book influences stuffing this thing to the brim don’t overwhelm the senses to the point they might annoy. He also somehow keeps the narrative from twisting into nonsensical absurdist knots, and while nothing that happens is a surprise I can’t say I ever felt my intelligence was being belittled watching things play themselves out.
That does not make anything that transpires during the film’s brisk 93 minutes smart or profound. I, Frankenstein is dumb. Stop. End of story. End of sentence. End of discussion. Much of this scenario has all the profundity of a SyFy Channel fantasy-adventure (sadly with special effects to match), events climaxing with a resounding thud that kept echoing throughout the theatre long after the screen faded to black. The final battle between gargoyle and demon has the urgency of a pent-up yawn, whether or not I could stifle mine the most exciting thing I felt while I sat there waiting for the film to end.
PHOTO: Lionsgate
I liked Eckhart as Adam/Frankenstein’s Monster, and Otto is, if you’ll excuse the wording, a divine choice to be the leader of Heaven’s gargoyle warriors. There’s also a nice bit of support from former “Chuck” star Yvonne Strahovski as a scientist thrust into the middle of a war she can barely comprehend even though she’s suddenly, and inadvertently, the key towards tilting the tide towards the bad guys. She and Eckhart have solid chemistry, and frequently I found myself wishing they could be sharing the screen in a better movie. But the rest of the secondary cast, notably Jack Reacher and A Good Day to Die Hard newcomer Jai Courtney, are left out to dry with little to do, while Nighy phones in the same performance he gave in the Underworld films as the chief baddie.
In fairness, I’ve made no secret of the fact I’ve gotten a kick out of those Underworld efforts, all of them (save maybe the third one) pleasurable absurdities I can’t help but enjoy. But with I, Frankenstein whatever spell that series has upon me hasn’t been transferred into the marrow of this new effort, so much of this adventure a slog to nowhere that barely held my interest. For all the wannabe whiz, for all the attempts at producing a thunderous bang, this is one franchise starter I doubt is going to be producing a sequel anytime soon.
Film Rating: 1½ (out of 4)
