Baywatch treads water for two-thirds of its unwieldy 116 minutes, maybe even more than that, the comedy drowning in its own mediocrity and as such is undeserving of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul comes agonizingly close to being unwatchable, this fourth entry in the series having virtually nothing of value to offer to any viewer of any age whatsoever.
Fact Everything, Everything is so very good before it becomes so very bad might just make the film more dissatisfying, so much wasted potential turning my own cinematic immune system into a lethally cancerous nightmare of bitter frustration and dejected disappointment.
Bleak, uncompromising and overflowing in dirty, lived-in tension, The Survivalist is a grand little opus that kept me mesmerized start to finish, its final moments a haunting bit of personalized hopeful madness where tragedy, heroism, regret and resilience coalesce into a single entity.
Even if some of the horror beats are all too familiar, that doesn’t make the overarching narrative any less fascinating, Alien: Covenant continuing to prove that big things can indeed be born of small beginnings, and I for one am decidedly curious to discover where this story is going to go next.
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter will keep the fans satisfied, and that’s really all there is to say.
Chuck is almost impossible to dislike.
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword might go down swinging, but that means it does still go down, Excalibur’s magic sadly not near enough for Ritchie’s latest to win the day.
Snatched is a glorious showcase for Hawn, and while she’s not the focal point of this dopey silliness she’s still the one I couldn’t take my eyes off of, the actress’ return more than enough to make the matinee ticket price required to see this one an outright bargain.