But with Mean Girls Waters and Fey do what they can to show scrubbing off one’s humanity for a mechanical glassy-eyed façade is something that should be avoided. In the end, life in plastic just isn’t worth the effort.

It’s a beautiful screenplay overflowing with moments of such sudden, tight-fisted insanity that frequently knocked my socks off, all of its coupled with a poignant purity that’s beyond terrific. As early-year movies go, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind isn’t just a surprise, it’s a bona fide cinematic miracle I’m not ever going to forget.

Ultimately, if The Return of the King isn’t quite the thrilling conclusion we were all hoping for, it is still very much a rousingly successful culmination to what may be the most satisfying cinematic trilogy of all time.

Despite a winning moment here and a wonderful one there, The Haunted Mansion has more in common with The Country Bears than it does Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, and that’s too bad.

Elf isn’t Christmas cheer, it’s Christmas excrement, and here’s hoping it finds its way to the sewers as fast as possible.

Alien holds up as if it were made yesterday.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre wants you to look these demonic figures in the eye and see how long it takes a person to flinch. My bet is said flinching will happen long before the chainsaw purrs.

School of Rock caught me by surprise. It features some pretty big laughs and gets the essence of what makes great Rock ‘n’ Roll timeless.

American Splendor is an absolute delight.