You get what you pay for as it pertains to Big Ass Spider!, and to my mind this is a very good thing indeed. If you’re headed to the box office chances are you have preconceived ideas of what it is you want, the title of the film not exactly shrouding things in any sort of mystery. It is, after all, claiming to be a movie about a big ass spider, meaning that if it doesn’t have one you are likely to come away angrily disappointed.
The woe of director Carlo Carlei’s and screenwriter Julian Fellowes’ adaptation of William Shakespeare’s timeless and immortal tragic love story Romeo & Juliet (2013) is just how banal and unbearably schmaltzy it is. They have taken the Bard’s iconic play and transformed it into something overbearing and unbearable, smothering the text, the performances and the drama into layer upon layer of bombast and melodrama making the movie version itself close to unwatchable.
[As] remakes go Mickle and Damici nail this one rather spectacularly. They’ve done a superb job making We Are What We Are palatable for a whole new type of audience eager to gorge on the banquet put before them, this gore-filled family feast a genre treat many will want to a second helpings of.
Gravity (2013) is as big a wow as anything I’m likely to see throughout the remainder of this year. It is doubtful, from a cinematic esthetic at any rate, that there will be anything else released in 2013 that I can even compare it to.
Talbert’s film is boringly mundane at best, offensively distasteful at worst, everything moving along at such a turgidly sluggish pace I wondered if anyone involved honestly cared to put forth anything close to their best efforts during filming. Baggage Claim is pretty much a disaster, the only solace I can find is the comfort in knowing I’ll never have to think about it again after I finish writing this review.
Cloudy with a Chance for Meatballs 2 improves upon its predecessor in every conceivable way, and slap me in the face with a slice of a bologna but I’m actually kind of curious to see what adventures inventor Flint Lockwood, meteorologist Sam Sparks and the rest of their curious gaggle of stalwart friends might decide to cook up for themselves next.
While not the psychologically disturbing stunner it’s always on the verge of becoming, Dark Touch still has plenty on its mind that’s worthy of discussion, the inhumane horrors at its core so deeply personal and all-encompassing the supernatural aspects augmenting them aren’t even necessary.
Don Jon is still a fairly strong debut, showcasing directorial chops that could serve Gordon-Levitt well if he chooses to step behind the camera again. The film is a moderately challenging character study of a man battling demons he didn’t realize were tearing his life apart, and while the lessons he learns are hardly earthshattering that doesn’t make them any less potent or worthy of additional contemplation.
There’s a lot to like about +1, plenty of idiosyncratic, highly original moments worthy of singling out for praise…curious genre fans looking for something a little bit different owe it to themselves to give the film a chance.